I don’t think I’ll ever be a stay at home mother.
I love my child but… 🙂
Princess is now ten months old.
I remember the first three months with her. Overwhelmed with emotions, I was scared of the thought of going back to work.
In fact, after being on maternity leave for four months, I didn’t want to go back to work.
So the last month of maternity leave I had to mentally prepare myself. I had to talk to my newborn about how she’s going to be okay without me for a few hours. I didn’t cry when I left her at the creche (nursery school), because she didn’t cry.
I was lucky. Often people tell me that Princess is so relaxed – then I just tell them that she is a socialite, just like her daddy. One of her creche teachers said that Princess is relaxed, because she trusts her parents. She trusts that she will see us again.
So after being back at work for a few months, I realise that I enjoy being on my own. I enjoy doing my own thing.
Of course I could spend more days doing things for myself, like going out with friends while my child is with a nanny. To be honest, I prefer being with my child on weekends.
Princess’ friend at her crèche (pre-primary school) started giving his first few steps on his own last week. I have seen that Princess only wants to stand on her two cute feet nowadays. Her friend walking at school is a motivation for her to try this walking thing too.
I can see Princess enjoys being at her school. It makes me happy.
Sometimes on weekends I feel that I might get too boring for her 🙂 Also I sometimes need a break after being depended on for hours and hours. I can’t help but be like a hawk around Princess.
The important thing is, she has her space to do what she wants, while I have my space. The creche is her area, while a place like work is my area.
At work I don’t have to be worried about being kicked in the face by little feet (as I am while laying next to her on the bed) or being pinched or nibbled on.
Even if I some day decide to work from home, Princess will still have to go to her area (creche). For the sake of her sanity and mine. I like it this way.
My only problem at the moment is dealing with the guilt and sadness (about missing milestones) but I love having my own career and “life” outside of my children. I also prefer to spend 80% of my weekend with them because the evenings alone are not enough.
I hear what you are saying.
For me it’s just that there are too many milestones we do see – every week your child grows. From just laying quietly on the bed and hardly making noises, to now being the wild-child that cannot keep still when you want to change her nappy.
Don’t feel guilty about missing things or feel like you were not the first to see something. Even if my child starts walking at creche first, that’s cool with me. I like that I get to share her growth with others (her teachers), because my family lives far – even my parents are too far, live in different provinces.
But then again, it’s so in our nature as moms to feel guilty about anything and everything.
I am sure you are a good momma though 🙂 Enjoy the journey.
Thank you for sharing
🙂 It’s a pleasure.