I listened to the Being Boss Club podcast recently and blogger Jessica Lauren was the guest. It was a cool interview, but I’d like to talk about something personal she mentioned.
Jessica said that she was on her way to get counselling when she decided to mention this on Instagram. Jessica was like, instead of telling people yet again how cute she looks, she’s just going to share of how she needs to see a therapist once in a while.
I resonated with this. In fact, it took me back.
A few colleagues of mine, years ago, told me that they had made use of the work’s benefits to see a psychologist. At this company where we worked at, we were allowed to get a few sessions from a professional psychologist (of our choice and within the budget). These colleagues spoke to me individually about their cases – I’m not going to share about it today.
Anyway, when I had my miscarriage of my first baby in October 2014, I immediately thought that I should get counselling.
I only got a week off from work after my miscarriage and my Editor thought it would be better if I came back to work the second week after the incident.
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At the time I hated her for it because I wanted to sulk and be in bed for more days. My husband lived in another province and my parents too, so my editor said she didn’t want me to be alone at home. Later I realised that being on the job got my mind off me and my situation, which was good.
When I returned to work I told my Editor that I wanted to see a psychologist.
The thing is, thinking back I don’t know if I would have ever had the guts to decide on seeing a professional to help me with my issues. But, I realise it was good that someone told me that they went for help. It gave me the confidence to say “I need help too”.
To tell you the truth, the following crossed my mind: I grew up as a Christian, I have faith in prayer can change things and that people in my church can help me pray. I grew up knowing that prayer helps, that it can heal. God has always been there for me – I didn’t doubt in Him. I felt that as a Christian, others might say that I should allow God to help me through my church instead.
I also realised that God allowed each of us gifts. Just like being a writer, a researcher and a good listener are my gifts, it is someone else’s gift to be a professional counsellor. So I thought: surely God understands if I see someone professional with a gift about my issues.
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It turned out that the psychologist I saw is also a Christian. He understood when I told him about my dreams, my goals. He listened and was interested when I spoke about my career. And one of the things he helped me to understand my feelings.
I remember telling him that I’m working so slow nowadays, and he said: “That’s understandable, remember Melissa, you lost a human being.”
Talking to him helped me a lot. It healed me a bit.
Anyway, I just thought that I’d share this with you. I feel that we should share if we had help because it might help someone else who is in a similar position to decide to get help.
Let me know what you think in the comments below. Thank you for reading!
I am so sorry about the baby you lost xxx
You shared such a personal story and I’m sorry to hear about what happened- what resonates with me is that we need to share more stories in that way people will know they are not alone. The free psychologists benefit is good and in fact many companies are going that route now.
Thank you Heather.
True Cherralle; I wish it could be a free service because small companies don’t have that offer.
I am so sorry about your loss & I must commend you on your courage. This is a personal story of yours, which you have shared with the world and that takes courage to do. I think the message from your post about sharing when we get help is a very important one. It is nothing shameful to do. Everyone in this world needs help at some time or the other and we need to support each other through everything. Have a good day & stay blessed.
Sorry to read about your loss Melissa 🙁
In some ways, I think that in certain cultures or communities, seeing a therapist is frowned upon, a sense of shame/psychological instability. It is great that you’ve highlighted that there is no wrong or shame or anything about seeking support, guidance and counselling from a therapist, a psychologist, etc.
My Bachelor’s degree is in Psychology, but I know better than to think I can solve all of my own problems. I have sought counseling several times throughout my life and it is not so much about the advice, but the ability to talk to someone that will not be burdened by your problems. It is very healing!
Thank you ladies. Reminders are good for believers, as my husband says. We all need a reminder that help is good and you should ask for it.
thank you for sharing such a an intimate and sad part of your life. sorry you had to go through it.
getting professional help is a brave thing to do. it has saved my life.